1. You start carrying a knife to work in case you have to cut someone.
2. You consider selling your arm on eBay.
3. Your employees tell you that "you seem really laid back lately."
4. You've become a file mule.
5. Metabolife, Amway, and Mormonism all seem like viable career options.
6. You refer to the bottle of Two Buck Chuck in the fridge as "my medicine."
7. Your work wardrobe includes something you wore to bed last night.
RIP Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson.